This is a Love Note.

Craigslist BF

A jilted, young woman uses Craigslist to find a date for her sister’s New Year’s Eve party before her family finds out she is alone for the holidays…again.

Tropes – Pen Pals, Strangers to Lovers, Holiday Romance

Craigslist.org>gigs>labor gigs

Title: Looking for someone to kiss on New Year’s. Serious Inquiries Only.

I’m looking for a straight, 20-40 year old male to go to a New Year’s Eve party w/ me, a straight, 31 year old female. We will dance, make small talk with other couples, and kiss at midnight (no tongue).

Compensation: Free food/booze + 2 tickets to a Journey concert in February.

Please email JenniJen865@gmail.com if you’re interested.

And please, for the love of God, no dick pics. Thanks.

Dear Jenni Jen, 

I know you said serious inquiries only but before I can decide I gotta know, is this a joke?

Cause if it is, it’s a very good one. Brava.

If not, I think you need to get some help.

Sincerely,

Benny Ben

P.S. Are the Journey tickets real? If so, I’ll reconsider. Don’t Stop Believin’ is my jam.

Dear Benny Ben,

Ha, I wish it was a joke. The Craigslist ad was my cry for help and you answered it. Now you have a moral and civic duty to help me. 

My boyfriend of 6 months just dumped me for a prepubescent model. (I know, so original.)

My sister is throwing the New Years Eve party. Last month I told her she could meet him at the party but now I’m too much of a wimp to tell her I’m alone for the holidays…again. Hence, the ad. 

If you want to help, great! If not, stop clogging up my inbox. 

-Jen

P.S. Please see attached picture of the very real Journey tickets. I won them in a raffle at my company’s holiday party. I also like Don’t Stop Believin’ but I have no one to go with so…yeah

Dear Jen, 

This sounds like the plot of a crappy Hallmark movie but I believe you. (The picture of the tickets didn’t hurt.)

Lucky for me, I don’t have plans on New Year’s eve. Sign me up!

Love, 

Your pretend boyfriend, Ben

Not so fast, Ben.

If that’s even your real name. Send me a picture of yourself holding today’s newspaper (The Times, please.) so I know you’re a real person, not some Nigerian prince who’s gonna ask for my routing number in the next email.

As requested, attached is my headshot with The Times. You should know, these can be faked with Photoshop. I didn’t fake mine (cross my heart, hope to die), but a motivated prince could figure it out.

The Best and Realest, 

Ben

P.S. Nigerian princes are real people too, ya know.

Alright, you’ll do. Meet me at 5th and 1st ave at 8pm. Dress to impress. 

-Jen

Wait. Don’t I get a picture of you? Fair’s fair. Besides, how do I know this isn’t some weird catfish? You could be a 200 lb dude setting a trap to kidnap me on New Year’s Eve.

-Ben

No picture. You’ll have to take your chances. I’ll be wearing a red scarf and matching beanie and gloves. Here is my phone number, 555-465-1555. Call me if you change your mind or if a 200 lb man tries to kidnap you on a well-trafficked intersection on one of the busiest nights of the year.

-Jen

P.S. Maybe you’re the one who needs help.

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